What to say about this weekend....it was kind of magical for me in many ways.
It was band camp weekend....a weekend that I've looked forward to every year since the first early years where I was wary of the whole 'weekend' experience away with a bunch of musicians. I would go up for the Saturday all day rehearsal and leave that night, totally missing everything else. I thought I was getting the music magic without having to subject myself to a bunch of parties where I would feel ugly and unformtable as I usually do at parties.
But after a couple of years I tried the whole weekend and realized how much I was missing. It's an intense weekend of music where the band truly has the time together to be able to put the music we're playing where it needs to be. This year the music portion of the weekend had a secondary, but very important purpose. This was our time to really get to know our new conductor. We loved him when he auditioned but the first few weeks when he threw some very tough music at us and expected a lot out of us, it stirred up some unrest in the band. And I think the band threw him a few loops as well. But thats the nature of this relationship between band and a new leader. There will always be a feeling out period where we all get to know each other before we can bond musically. I tried to tell everyone that band camp is where we would find out who he is and what our relationship will be. He made us realize that it's a partnership...hopefully we brought him down to earth a bit. And many of us got to know him as a person for the first time. all round, it was a great success musically. We worked hard and it shows.
I guess I have to admit that it was also an important weekend for me musically. I've been really struggling with the tuba thing, feeling like I'm just not getting it and not contributing anything musically to the band for the first time. I've always felt that I gave something...but this time it's been a struggle just to play notes. And when you can't play basic notes, you can't put much musically into it. And I guess I was afraid that my reputation was taking a beating....that's stupid and egotistical, but real nevertheless. it's important to me to feel like I'm good at this one thing....music. On tuba, it felt like I was losing the music. Thank God for trombone in Swing band and the success I felt instantly with that....that kept me plugging away at tuba and not feeling like a complete failure this season. Anyways, this weekend I did start to feel like although it's not up to my standard, I have to admit it's finally getting better. I have to thank all my friends for helping me through it and encouraging me, telling me I'm sounding pretty good, even when I didn't believe it. I needed that. And I have to admit that hearing the new conductor tell me he was impressed with how far I'd come once he heard me in sectional.....that was also something I needed badly. I know he's had way more on his mind than worrying about what he thinks of me, but it was bothering me that he'd never heard me play anything well and his first impression was of me was on this thing that I could barely play. He also sounded genuinely impressed when I picked up the euphonium for the first time in a long time. That was nerve wracking because he is very accomplished on Euphonium in a way I never was and was playing with me. But I've always loved that tune, Amparita Roca and and especially the great euphonium counter-melody. And it was killing me to play tuba instead of Euphonium. And although I'm not great, I was once a very good euphonium player, so I didn't hesitate and in fact asked for the chance to play it. His reaction (and that of a few others in band) stroked my ego exactly how I needed....
In any case I'm feeling better about the tuba and about myself and I'll try to shut up about how bad I sound (yeah I probably spouted off about it too much and too frequently searching for validation.) I should've listened to my own advice about waiting until band camp to decide if I was a failure at it or not.
Although music is the reason for band camp, the true reason most of us love it is the comradarie while we are there. During rehearsal you are busy and breaks are short, so many of us don't know each other. Band camp forces us to eat and sleep together (minds out of the gutter boys....), party and have fun together. You talk to a lot of people you've never spoken to before and see how interesting or cute they are...or occasionally obnoxious but harmless. Everyone is in it together and we truly bond. The Friday night after rehearsal impromptue party is always a blast....everyone is in the mood to party and have fun. The Sat night party and talent show is always fun, and the bonfire is always a hoot. Not much Kumbaya here.
This year I had a magical time because of the friendships I have. One person I've gotten to know again after having known and adored him 10 years ago. We had a short but intensive friendship at a time when he was sort of in between college and finding himself. He drifted away and we happily ran into each other a couple of times, but now he's back in band and back in my life and I'm so very happy about that. Talk about finding yourself...what a guy he found! We had a great ride up and back in the convertible with the top down the entire time, daring it to rain on us. And I roomed with him, got to see most all of the gorgeous body which now matches his adorable personality, and cuddled a bit here and there. I thank him for a great time together and look forward to lots more. Welcome back again my friend (he's been back a year already...lol).
I also had a long conversation with a guy that I have enormous respect for and who I'm very happy to call my friend. He's found his own relationship in the last year and is really happy....and we had the best conversation we've probably ever had together....or at least the deepest one. We talked music, we talked band, we talked him, we talked his new lover, we talked me, my lover, our impending marriage...a whole lot. I thoroughly enjoyed it. And he also provided me a validation I really needed, that I was immediately helping the trombone section in Swing band. I thank him for his friendship and look forward to lots more.
Then there's my two special boys. Don't know why they like me but I don't care. The fact that they do makes me feel wonderful. I was really thrilled when they insisted I room with them this weekend and felt great when they automatically signed me up. It was tragic that it seemed like one of them couldn't be there this weekend because he was off being a hero, but my consolation was that i was going to try to help the other one enjoy himself without his best friend. When he showed up Friday night to shock us, I was elated that they were back together, but afraid that I might be the odd one out. But that didn't happen at all...instead they shared themselves with me and made me feel a true part of the friendship that they have. They are fun, intelligent, popular, incredibly good-looking guys and I've had the great opportunity to really get to know each of them well in the last year or so. And hot....both of them. I love each of them and the gift of their friendship. Thanks guys. I really look forward to lots more.
Thanks to all of the other wonderful people I got to know, or got to know better this weekend too. I look forward to the next one and the shorter times we have together while waiting till next year.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Instrumental Updates
Here is an update from my perspective on how all my instrument-switching is going at the moment.
Tuba - I switched in concert band this season to Tuba, partially because that's what the band needed, and partially cause I thought it would be a good challenge. Tuba so far is not going well at all. I still feel like I pretty much suck on it and am adding nothing to the band. It's a disappointment but not a total surprise. For one, I've never played a tuba well in the past in my few attempts....that was true of French Horn for a long time too. 2nd, the music the band is playing is way too hard for me to be attempting to switch to a new instrument where I also have to transpose it all, and expect myself to be good. But I'm still disappointed in myself so far. I'm just not used to feeling like I sound like an 8th grader on ANY instrument and it usually doesn't take me long to get some sense of proficiency on it. So far on tuba, I feel like i'm kinda sucking...and not in the good way. It also leaves me feeling like I have a lot to prove before I'll ever get in Joe Bello's good graces. He doesn't know me from Adam, hasn't heard me play anything proficiently, and must simply think I suck and have no business on the tuba.
French Horn - I picked it back up for Stonewall brass rehearsal on Saturday and it went better than expected. Although it wasn't pretty, it wasn't awful either and I kept up with everyone else. The jury is still out on it at this point.
Bari Sax - I love the instrument and really love being in Sax in the City or whatever we end up calling our quarquintet (4 parts, 5 members.) Right now I feel like it's the only thing I play well. The sax quartet was going to perform at band camp, which would've given Joe a look to see that I'm not 100% incompetant. But with Chad deployed to Houston for disaster relief, that's out too. So Joe will have to continue to have a low opinion of me for awhile.
Trumpet - I have no where to play it other than for myself. I'm still working on Toot Suite for the small ensemble concert, but I doubt if I'll get it together and actually get a group to perform it.
Trombone - At the same time I switched to tuba in band, I switched to trombone in Swing band. Now I didn't practice it even once until the night before the first rehearsal (I blame the frantic tuba practicing and the Olympics), which means my entire experience was one marching band season at least 10 years prior. But almost instantly, it felt natural and right to me....polar opposite of the tuba. It's much closer in embouchure to euphonium, my original instrument, so it's not totally surprising. But what is surprising is just how good it feels to play it, how much I'm already enjoying it. I was forced almost instantly to play some first parts and solos, and I'm eating it up. Now I have a huge solo to work on, attempting to play Traces, which Joe Czarnicki played beautifully, but which hasn't been played by anyone else. I tried to offer it to everyone else, but no one took it, and me being the ham that I did.....did. Chris wants to play it on the December first concert. I find it a bit ironic that it will be the first time Joe here's me play something and not think I sound like an 8th grader (hopefully)....and on an instrument I've actually played less than tuba.
So at the moment, I'm loving playing Trombone and Bari Sax. I still love the trumpet. I feel somewhat better than I have in a long time about the Horn. And tuba....well, I can only hope it gets better in time for the concerts. At this point, I'm not expecting much. And since Scott now needs it for Stonewall and may also need it for an orchestra, I have a good excuse to give it up after December 1st concert. I can't see myself spending money to get one either when I'm not even enjoying playing it.
Tuba - I switched in concert band this season to Tuba, partially because that's what the band needed, and partially cause I thought it would be a good challenge. Tuba so far is not going well at all. I still feel like I pretty much suck on it and am adding nothing to the band. It's a disappointment but not a total surprise. For one, I've never played a tuba well in the past in my few attempts....that was true of French Horn for a long time too. 2nd, the music the band is playing is way too hard for me to be attempting to switch to a new instrument where I also have to transpose it all, and expect myself to be good. But I'm still disappointed in myself so far. I'm just not used to feeling like I sound like an 8th grader on ANY instrument and it usually doesn't take me long to get some sense of proficiency on it. So far on tuba, I feel like i'm kinda sucking...and not in the good way. It also leaves me feeling like I have a lot to prove before I'll ever get in Joe Bello's good graces. He doesn't know me from Adam, hasn't heard me play anything proficiently, and must simply think I suck and have no business on the tuba.
French Horn - I picked it back up for Stonewall brass rehearsal on Saturday and it went better than expected. Although it wasn't pretty, it wasn't awful either and I kept up with everyone else. The jury is still out on it at this point.
Bari Sax - I love the instrument and really love being in Sax in the City or whatever we end up calling our quarquintet (4 parts, 5 members.) Right now I feel like it's the only thing I play well. The sax quartet was going to perform at band camp, which would've given Joe a look to see that I'm not 100% incompetant. But with Chad deployed to Houston for disaster relief, that's out too. So Joe will have to continue to have a low opinion of me for awhile.
Trumpet - I have no where to play it other than for myself. I'm still working on Toot Suite for the small ensemble concert, but I doubt if I'll get it together and actually get a group to perform it.
Trombone - At the same time I switched to tuba in band, I switched to trombone in Swing band. Now I didn't practice it even once until the night before the first rehearsal (I blame the frantic tuba practicing and the Olympics), which means my entire experience was one marching band season at least 10 years prior. But almost instantly, it felt natural and right to me....polar opposite of the tuba. It's much closer in embouchure to euphonium, my original instrument, so it's not totally surprising. But what is surprising is just how good it feels to play it, how much I'm already enjoying it. I was forced almost instantly to play some first parts and solos, and I'm eating it up. Now I have a huge solo to work on, attempting to play Traces, which Joe Czarnicki played beautifully, but which hasn't been played by anyone else. I tried to offer it to everyone else, but no one took it, and me being the ham that I did.....did. Chris wants to play it on the December first concert. I find it a bit ironic that it will be the first time Joe here's me play something and not think I sound like an 8th grader (hopefully)....and on an instrument I've actually played less than tuba.
So at the moment, I'm loving playing Trombone and Bari Sax. I still love the trumpet. I feel somewhat better than I have in a long time about the Horn. And tuba....well, I can only hope it gets better in time for the concerts. At this point, I'm not expecting much. And since Scott now needs it for Stonewall and may also need it for an orchestra, I have a good excuse to give it up after December 1st concert. I can't see myself spending money to get one either when I'm not even enjoying playing it.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
America's Got No Talent
Let me start by saying that the television show 'America's Got Talent' is a great premise for a show. It combines literally ANY kind of talent into one show pitting singers against dancers against baton twirlers against female impersonators against sword swallowers against anything you can think of. It has some of the most bizarre talent I've ever seen, such as 'Spark Woman'....some weirdo woman who shot sparks off her body in various ways, or the guy who lies on nails while his wife and others stand on him.
Acts perform and the judges....I'll get to them in a moment....narrowed it down eventually to 40 acts. Then America takes over and votes them down (mostly, judges get involved too.)
Here's my #1 problem with the show. The director should be fired on the spot immediately....it's the worst case of directing I've ever seen in my life and he absolutely ruins it. I challenge anyone reading this post to do the following. When an act starts, follow the camera work and count just how long any one camera remains on an act before the director switches it to a different camera. The LONGEST amount of time I've seen is 2 seconds.
So an act gets up to perform and a camera is on...say showing the whole stage. Less than 2 seconds into the act, different camera angle focusing on the face of one person in the act, 2 seconds later, shows the act from the side, 2 seconds later you see the face of a judge, 2 seconds later back to original view, 2 seconds later you see them from up high and to the left, 2 seconds later you are looking at the audience. So, in a 2 minute performance, the director has said 'cue camera such and such' approximately 60 times.
Now if I'm trying to judge an act, how am I supposed to do that? There is no continuity at all to what the TV audience sees. Now for a singer, that matters not in the slightest because the sound is not interrupted. But for a dance troop, or in fact any act that actually uses the whole stage and needs to be seen, it's completely unfair. This is why there are, count them, NINE singers in the top 10, and not a single other non-musical act. How can I watch a dance troop and figure out if they are any good at all when I can't see them for more than 2 seconds at a time. It's just ridiculous and the idiot director should be FIRED. The dancers and other acts of that nature were cheated of any chance to advance. Of the nine singers, maybe one of them would've made it to the finals of American Idol (I know, hard to compare....but based on pure talent, it's true.)
#2 problem with the show - the cast is idiotic. First, Jerry Springer is not only just a waste of space, but an ANNOYING waste of space. He does nothing but state the obvious, badly, and every time he talks I get the urge to smack him. David Hasselhoff is a waste of good air. As a judge, he's a complete moron and he loves every act. Sharon Osborne is my favorite person on the show and usually says mostly constructive things, but she occasionally forgets what the show is about and votes for completely stupid acts. Piers is actually the only honest fair judge and I find I usually agree with him, but even he panders to many acts.....like the 4-year old. And he has about zero personality. When I saw the judges put those talent-free zooperstars through to the top 20, it just solidified with me that they have no clue what talent is.
#3 problem with the show - America doesn't know actual talent when it bites them in the....you know what. In general right now I have about as much respect for Americans as the French do....when I see the whole country going gaga over Palin......but that's for another blog post. In judging for THIS show, America again is showing that they are pretty much brain-dead. Proof positive, there is a 4-year old voted through to the final 10.
Before I go any further i have to say that I hope she wins the entire show and they put her in a Los Vegas show as promised. Can you believe that she's even there? First, I sang better than her at 4....yeah she can carry a tune and looks very poised for a child. But talent? I've heard MUCH better kids....and this girl is through completely for one reason....she's cute and American audiences are so stupid that they are snowballed by a 4-year old and the irresponsible people that are allowing her to do this....her parents included or perhaps ultimately blamed.
#4 problem with the show - this ties into some of the other reasons, but I believe the outcome is determined far too much by the people running the show. For instance, during the auditions and in fact all the way through to the top 20, the writers/director/whoever of the show determined that they should show about 1 out of every 5000 acts, and get up close and personal with each of them. Good example of this is that the Kinsey Sicks were in the show this year. The show showed shots of them throughout the audition process, so I could see that they were still around performing, right up until the top 40 were picked. Yet, I never saw them give a single performance. The show simply used them for their obvious interesting looks...men in obvious drag...by sticking them in the background many times so that they would be seen, but never actually showed them perform. I would like to see WAY more actual acts and way less of the tugging on the heartstrings that they seem to think is necessary. For instance, Queen Emily....if they'd put that woman in a large vat, she would've drowned in the amount of tears they showed from her. We saw 30 seconds of her singing and 30 minutes of her blubbering.
Of the top 10, there is no act that comes within a mile of last year's winner, the best ventriloquist I've ever seen...Terry Fator. And of the top 10, there is really only one choice in my mind for an act that could actually carry a Vegas show, Nuttin But Strings. They are exciting to watch and very talented and could carry a show. The rest of the 10, forget it. Eli Mattson is very good, but he's better in intimate settings, quiet times. I can't imagine him in Vegas. Neil Boyd is good I think, although I'm not a good judge of opera, but Vegas? Queen Emily has some talent but she just gags me totally and if I see her cry one more time, I'm gonna lose it. And she's not nearly as talented as the show makes her out to be. Kaitlyn Maher, the 4 year old, is simply a joke. The Elvis and Sinatra impersonators are over-hyped and under-talented, and I can't imagine going to Vegas and seeing 90 minutes of either of them. The rest of the singers are average to annoying.
With that diatribe, you'd think I hate the show. But the truth is, it's my guilty pleasure and I still watch it.....but I'm bitching about it the entire time cause it gets me so angry when I see what the producers are doing to the show. It's the worst execution of a good premise that I've ever seen.
Acts perform and the judges....I'll get to them in a moment....narrowed it down eventually to 40 acts. Then America takes over and votes them down (mostly, judges get involved too.)
Here's my #1 problem with the show. The director should be fired on the spot immediately....it's the worst case of directing I've ever seen in my life and he absolutely ruins it. I challenge anyone reading this post to do the following. When an act starts, follow the camera work and count just how long any one camera remains on an act before the director switches it to a different camera. The LONGEST amount of time I've seen is 2 seconds.
So an act gets up to perform and a camera is on...say showing the whole stage. Less than 2 seconds into the act, different camera angle focusing on the face of one person in the act, 2 seconds later, shows the act from the side, 2 seconds later you see the face of a judge, 2 seconds later back to original view, 2 seconds later you see them from up high and to the left, 2 seconds later you are looking at the audience. So, in a 2 minute performance, the director has said 'cue camera such and such' approximately 60 times.
Now if I'm trying to judge an act, how am I supposed to do that? There is no continuity at all to what the TV audience sees. Now for a singer, that matters not in the slightest because the sound is not interrupted. But for a dance troop, or in fact any act that actually uses the whole stage and needs to be seen, it's completely unfair. This is why there are, count them, NINE singers in the top 10, and not a single other non-musical act. How can I watch a dance troop and figure out if they are any good at all when I can't see them for more than 2 seconds at a time. It's just ridiculous and the idiot director should be FIRED. The dancers and other acts of that nature were cheated of any chance to advance. Of the nine singers, maybe one of them would've made it to the finals of American Idol (I know, hard to compare....but based on pure talent, it's true.)
#2 problem with the show - the cast is idiotic. First, Jerry Springer is not only just a waste of space, but an ANNOYING waste of space. He does nothing but state the obvious, badly, and every time he talks I get the urge to smack him. David Hasselhoff is a waste of good air. As a judge, he's a complete moron and he loves every act. Sharon Osborne is my favorite person on the show and usually says mostly constructive things, but she occasionally forgets what the show is about and votes for completely stupid acts. Piers is actually the only honest fair judge and I find I usually agree with him, but even he panders to many acts.....like the 4-year old. And he has about zero personality. When I saw the judges put those talent-free zooperstars through to the top 20, it just solidified with me that they have no clue what talent is.
#3 problem with the show - America doesn't know actual talent when it bites them in the....you know what. In general right now I have about as much respect for Americans as the French do....when I see the whole country going gaga over Palin......but that's for another blog post. In judging for THIS show, America again is showing that they are pretty much brain-dead. Proof positive, there is a 4-year old voted through to the final 10.
Before I go any further i have to say that I hope she wins the entire show and they put her in a Los Vegas show as promised. Can you believe that she's even there? First, I sang better than her at 4....yeah she can carry a tune and looks very poised for a child. But talent? I've heard MUCH better kids....and this girl is through completely for one reason....she's cute and American audiences are so stupid that they are snowballed by a 4-year old and the irresponsible people that are allowing her to do this....her parents included or perhaps ultimately blamed.
#4 problem with the show - this ties into some of the other reasons, but I believe the outcome is determined far too much by the people running the show. For instance, during the auditions and in fact all the way through to the top 20, the writers/director/whoever of the show determined that they should show about 1 out of every 5000 acts, and get up close and personal with each of them. Good example of this is that the Kinsey Sicks were in the show this year. The show showed shots of them throughout the audition process, so I could see that they were still around performing, right up until the top 40 were picked. Yet, I never saw them give a single performance. The show simply used them for their obvious interesting looks...men in obvious drag...by sticking them in the background many times so that they would be seen, but never actually showed them perform. I would like to see WAY more actual acts and way less of the tugging on the heartstrings that they seem to think is necessary. For instance, Queen Emily....if they'd put that woman in a large vat, she would've drowned in the amount of tears they showed from her. We saw 30 seconds of her singing and 30 minutes of her blubbering.
Of the top 10, there is no act that comes within a mile of last year's winner, the best ventriloquist I've ever seen...Terry Fator. And of the top 10, there is really only one choice in my mind for an act that could actually carry a Vegas show, Nuttin But Strings. They are exciting to watch and very talented and could carry a show. The rest of the 10, forget it. Eli Mattson is very good, but he's better in intimate settings, quiet times. I can't imagine him in Vegas. Neil Boyd is good I think, although I'm not a good judge of opera, but Vegas? Queen Emily has some talent but she just gags me totally and if I see her cry one more time, I'm gonna lose it. And she's not nearly as talented as the show makes her out to be. Kaitlyn Maher, the 4 year old, is simply a joke. The Elvis and Sinatra impersonators are over-hyped and under-talented, and I can't imagine going to Vegas and seeing 90 minutes of either of them. The rest of the singers are average to annoying.
With that diatribe, you'd think I hate the show. But the truth is, it's my guilty pleasure and I still watch it.....but I'm bitching about it the entire time cause it gets me so angry when I see what the producers are doing to the show. It's the worst execution of a good premise that I've ever seen.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Kitchen is finally getting underway
We've found a contractor we like a lot....someone recommended by a very picky, cost-conscious relative of George's. His name is Dave Cohen and he seems like exactly what we need, which is someone that will walk us through the process, holding our hands the whole way. I know that sounds stupid, but we are ignorant and need to have someone we feel we can trust because we could easily be lead astray.
But this guy is really a project manager, and his presentation of his estimate was extremely complete and professional, to the point where he had design suggestions that made a heck of a lot of sense. His quote was about $7k less than home depot's estimate, but we are also getting a lot more, (like 42" cabinets and removing the ugly soffits....something Home Depot never mentioned and we were getting their 30" cabinets with them.)
This week we signed a contract and gave a downpayment, and this weekend (labor day), Dave went out with us to a huge Tile/flooring store, a granite place where we got to see the actual slabs instead of 2 inch slabs at home depot, and to Lowe's. We've picked out the new cabinets, which I like better than what we were getting, and narrowed down the granite to 3 choices, 2 serious.
It feels like we are actually started now. He comes today for final measurements, then we order cabinets and start narrowing down everything else (appliances are set, GE Profile across the board, also several upgraded from the HD estimate.)
I hope by Christmas to have a whole new kitchen....and I believe our house will feel like a new house when we get it, and we'll want to quickly start doing other rooms too. Sorry Al.....I expect the kitchen to be completely ripped up when you arrive in October :).
But this guy is really a project manager, and his presentation of his estimate was extremely complete and professional, to the point where he had design suggestions that made a heck of a lot of sense. His quote was about $7k less than home depot's estimate, but we are also getting a lot more, (like 42" cabinets and removing the ugly soffits....something Home Depot never mentioned and we were getting their 30" cabinets with them.)
This week we signed a contract and gave a downpayment, and this weekend (labor day), Dave went out with us to a huge Tile/flooring store, a granite place where we got to see the actual slabs instead of 2 inch slabs at home depot, and to Lowe's. We've picked out the new cabinets, which I like better than what we were getting, and narrowed down the granite to 3 choices, 2 serious.
It feels like we are actually started now. He comes today for final measurements, then we order cabinets and start narrowing down everything else (appliances are set, GE Profile across the board, also several upgraded from the HD estimate.)
I hope by Christmas to have a whole new kitchen....and I believe our house will feel like a new house when we get it, and we'll want to quickly start doing other rooms too. Sorry Al.....I expect the kitchen to be completely ripped up when you arrive in October :).
Friday, August 29, 2008
What a Pain.....
**** Warning: this post contains a whole lotta whining and complaining, and is intensely personal....it's gonna bore anyone who reads it, but it's something I need to write for myself ****
One day about 2 months ago I woke up out of bed feeling wonderful. Something seemed strange but it took me several hours to realized what it was. It had been years since I woke up feeling physically great....literally years. I wake up every day with back pain. This is something that has come on over a long period of time, and was only partially noticed by me. So I have some back pain. It was never intense, never sharp, and never something I felt was bad enough to do something about. Pop some aspirin or excedrin, do some stretching and take a hot shower and it would usually go away.
I also wake up with a lot of headaches, and those are always much more intense than the backache....thing is, the headache is almost always accompanied by a backache, but the head was what I focused on. Eventually I bought a Temporpedic bed (about 5 years ago) and that helped with the headaches quite a bit. At the same time, I learned to stretch in the mornings that I woke up with headaches....which I also started to do with backaches. And I also learned that taking blazingly hot showers helps. So those three things helped for awhile.
I've told my doctor that I suffer from backaches on a regular basis, but I never stressed it and in fact, probably played it down somewhat.....'yeah I suffer from back pain many mornings, but usually can make it go away with excedrin, stretching and hot showers'. So it's never been looked into.
I tried a massage once....did nothing much for my back and I didn't like him much so I never got another. There are a whole list of things I'd sort of like to try, acupuncture, massages of various kinds, chiropractor, back-ectomy, but I dont' want to try them for real until I rule out any major issue like serious structural problems.
I'm doing this all wrong....this posting. What I wanted to do was describe the pain, rather than whine about it, so I have something to tell the doctor when I go.
Ok, I almost always wake up with pain in my back. Usually it's fairly low-grade pain, but it is there always. It's in my extreme lower back mostly, but there is no definite spot that hurts. I think the lower back pain sometimes also causes the upper back and neck to feel stressed too, but the actual pain is down there, just above my tailbone I think. I also believe that most of my headaches are actually caused by the back.
I also almost always develop back pain or make it worse by doing the following:
1) Walking slowly like in a museum or shopping mall. Walking at a normal pace (mine is pretty fast) causes no problems at all, but put me in a museum and my back will be hurting inside 20 minutes. Even marching band doesn't hurt it.
2) Standing in place - if I have to stand in a line for long, my back will be killing me, even being careful not to lock my knees and to move around as much as I can.
2) Rollerblading causes my back to ache a lot.
3) Watching TV.....this is my own fault probably because we watch it all sitting up in bed with styrofoam back support wedge things.
4) The biggie, SLEEPING. I sleep like an absolute rock, which I suspect is part of my problem. Once I'm out, I dont' move a bit all night, so my theory is, I'm stiff the next morning from being in the same position every night. The mornings that my back feels the best are usually mornings after I sleep badly (very rare.) If I toss and turn a lot, my back doesn't hurt nearly as much.
Thing that don't seem to make it any worse:
1) Lifting things....tuba and bari has no immediate affect and seem to have no effect the next few days either. Even helping someone move doesnt' cause it to be any worse. It also doesn't hurt at all while doing actual lifting.
2) Exercise - no effect that I can see, cardio or even jogging or using the Wii
3) Sitting in front of the computer....enough hours and I'll get stiff like anyone else, but it doesn't seem to have any direct affect on my back
Things that definitely make it feel better:
1) Stretching + a hot shower + pills (excedrin migraine or ibuprofin mostly) right after I wake up. I put the shower on so hot I almost can't stand it, and leave it beating on my back for several minutes. (didnt' help this morning at all.)
2) Heating pad often helps (we have a wet-one...whatever you call them.)
3) Icy hot helps it feel better on some really bad days.
Things that have made me realize I have a problem over the last year:
1) Zero patience - I get irritated so fast over absolutely nothing that should set me off or used to. It happens with George, with good friends, with complete strangers.
2) Utterly raw emotions - I was reading the paper this morning about Bill Clinton's speech the other day and found myself bawling. I cry often....but only in the last few years. Little things also get me depressed way more than they should. And my complete outlook can turn on a dime....go from doing just fine to being in a horrible mood, and not even know why.
3) Lack of a smile on my face - I very often can't mange to even fake one. I may suffer from a small amount of depression, but generally am a very happy, well-adjusted person.
4) Conversations.....lacking badly. I find myself sitting there saying nothing and adding nothing to conversations all the time recently. It's like I feel like I have nothing important or worthwhile to say. I dont' want to blame all my problems on my back pain, but I didn't used to be like that.
5) The way I treat George - sometimes I just can't manage to be supportive like I want to and know I should. And when I get irritated with him, it's over nothing and shouldn't be happening. And he saw me smile yesterday and acted like he hadn't seen it in awhile...he may be right. He deserves better than I'm giving him right now.
Things I suspect might help but haven't tried and won't until I make sure there is no direct physical problem:
1) Regular massages
2) Heated Rock massages (forget the actual name but I've heard they do wonderful things
3) Chiropractor
4) Accupuncture - I only half believe in it, but it's worth a shot
5) Losing weight - I am obese according to Wii and the charts....not morbidly so, but obese nevertheless....that can't help. (when I did lose 45 lbs a few years back, I noticed no difference.)
6) Abs exercises - I wonder if having ab muscles would relieve the back of a lot of stress
7) More regular exercise - helps everything else
I'm tired of being in constant pain and it's really wearing on me....I've GOT to do something about it soon.
One day about 2 months ago I woke up out of bed feeling wonderful. Something seemed strange but it took me several hours to realized what it was. It had been years since I woke up feeling physically great....literally years. I wake up every day with back pain. This is something that has come on over a long period of time, and was only partially noticed by me. So I have some back pain. It was never intense, never sharp, and never something I felt was bad enough to do something about. Pop some aspirin or excedrin, do some stretching and take a hot shower and it would usually go away.
I also wake up with a lot of headaches, and those are always much more intense than the backache....thing is, the headache is almost always accompanied by a backache, but the head was what I focused on. Eventually I bought a Temporpedic bed (about 5 years ago) and that helped with the headaches quite a bit. At the same time, I learned to stretch in the mornings that I woke up with headaches....which I also started to do with backaches. And I also learned that taking blazingly hot showers helps. So those three things helped for awhile.
I've told my doctor that I suffer from backaches on a regular basis, but I never stressed it and in fact, probably played it down somewhat.....'yeah I suffer from back pain many mornings, but usually can make it go away with excedrin, stretching and hot showers'. So it's never been looked into.
I tried a massage once....did nothing much for my back and I didn't like him much so I never got another. There are a whole list of things I'd sort of like to try, acupuncture, massages of various kinds, chiropractor, back-ectomy, but I dont' want to try them for real until I rule out any major issue like serious structural problems.
I'm doing this all wrong....this posting. What I wanted to do was describe the pain, rather than whine about it, so I have something to tell the doctor when I go.
Ok, I almost always wake up with pain in my back. Usually it's fairly low-grade pain, but it is there always. It's in my extreme lower back mostly, but there is no definite spot that hurts. I think the lower back pain sometimes also causes the upper back and neck to feel stressed too, but the actual pain is down there, just above my tailbone I think. I also believe that most of my headaches are actually caused by the back.
I also almost always develop back pain or make it worse by doing the following:
1) Walking slowly like in a museum or shopping mall. Walking at a normal pace (mine is pretty fast) causes no problems at all, but put me in a museum and my back will be hurting inside 20 minutes. Even marching band doesn't hurt it.
2) Standing in place - if I have to stand in a line for long, my back will be killing me, even being careful not to lock my knees and to move around as much as I can.
2) Rollerblading causes my back to ache a lot.
3) Watching TV.....this is my own fault probably because we watch it all sitting up in bed with styrofoam back support wedge things.
4) The biggie, SLEEPING. I sleep like an absolute rock, which I suspect is part of my problem. Once I'm out, I dont' move a bit all night, so my theory is, I'm stiff the next morning from being in the same position every night. The mornings that my back feels the best are usually mornings after I sleep badly (very rare.) If I toss and turn a lot, my back doesn't hurt nearly as much.
Thing that don't seem to make it any worse:
1) Lifting things....tuba and bari has no immediate affect and seem to have no effect the next few days either. Even helping someone move doesnt' cause it to be any worse. It also doesn't hurt at all while doing actual lifting.
2) Exercise - no effect that I can see, cardio or even jogging or using the Wii
3) Sitting in front of the computer....enough hours and I'll get stiff like anyone else, but it doesn't seem to have any direct affect on my back
Things that definitely make it feel better:
1) Stretching + a hot shower + pills (excedrin migraine or ibuprofin mostly) right after I wake up. I put the shower on so hot I almost can't stand it, and leave it beating on my back for several minutes. (didnt' help this morning at all.)
2) Heating pad often helps (we have a wet-one...whatever you call them.)
3) Icy hot helps it feel better on some really bad days.
Things that have made me realize I have a problem over the last year:
1) Zero patience - I get irritated so fast over absolutely nothing that should set me off or used to. It happens with George, with good friends, with complete strangers.
2) Utterly raw emotions - I was reading the paper this morning about Bill Clinton's speech the other day and found myself bawling. I cry often....but only in the last few years. Little things also get me depressed way more than they should. And my complete outlook can turn on a dime....go from doing just fine to being in a horrible mood, and not even know why.
3) Lack of a smile on my face - I very often can't mange to even fake one. I may suffer from a small amount of depression, but generally am a very happy, well-adjusted person.
4) Conversations.....lacking badly. I find myself sitting there saying nothing and adding nothing to conversations all the time recently. It's like I feel like I have nothing important or worthwhile to say. I dont' want to blame all my problems on my back pain, but I didn't used to be like that.
5) The way I treat George - sometimes I just can't manage to be supportive like I want to and know I should. And when I get irritated with him, it's over nothing and shouldn't be happening. And he saw me smile yesterday and acted like he hadn't seen it in awhile...he may be right. He deserves better than I'm giving him right now.
Things I suspect might help but haven't tried and won't until I make sure there is no direct physical problem:
1) Regular massages
2) Heated Rock massages (forget the actual name but I've heard they do wonderful things
3) Chiropractor
4) Accupuncture - I only half believe in it, but it's worth a shot
5) Losing weight - I am obese according to Wii and the charts....not morbidly so, but obese nevertheless....that can't help. (when I did lose 45 lbs a few years back, I noticed no difference.)
6) Abs exercises - I wonder if having ab muscles would relieve the back of a lot of stress
7) More regular exercise - helps everything else
I'm tired of being in constant pain and it's really wearing on me....I've GOT to do something about it soon.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Eating some of my own Crow
hehe, I also here-by eat my own words about my friend and his general Clinton-bashing. He loved Bill's speech last night and had nothing negative to say about it.
Chomp, Chomp, Chomp myself.
Sorry, my friend.
Chomp, Chomp, Chomp myself.
Sorry, my friend.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Hillary-bashing
Decided to write this on my own blog rather than commenting on a friend's blog. He's much more political than I am in general and much better-informed....and when I venture into politics, I show my own ignorance (better done on my own blog where no-one will see it.) But sometimes I feel like my friend is more of a Hillary-hater than a Barack-lover. She gave what I thought was a pretty inspirational speech last night throwing her support whole-heartedly behind him and attempting to invigorate the party and unify her own supporters behind him. I went to see what my friend had to say about it. Although there were a couple of very short positive statements, in general the posting was another Hillary-slam because she didn't say the exact words he wanted to hear. (I truly believe if she had said the statement he wanted, it would've been something else she didn't say which was wrong.)
It's his blog and his opinion of course, but I find it amusing that as long as I've been reading his blog (admittedly not more than 6 months or so), I've never seen anything positive said about a Clinton without 16 negatives attached to it....and usually there's no positive there anyhow. He's already decided that Bill's speech tonight will be no better. He seems to feel very strongly against the Clintons and everything they do and stand for.... I expect that from Republicans but it always surprises me from a Democrat-leaner, and I keep going back to see if he really is as consistently negative about her as it seems. I kind of thought that might change after the primary. I just feel like at this point we should stop pointing fingers and start attempting to unify....and it seemed like that's what she was trying to do to me.
But similar to his seeming dislike for Hillary, I have a like for her and Bill, and I give them the benefit of the doubt, even when perhaps I shouldn't. I guess I'm their glass half full and he's their glass half empty :). And I've never been opinionated enough in general...I don't get very passionate about politics and usually stay away from such discussions...probably better for everyone involved.
It's his blog and his opinion of course, but I find it amusing that as long as I've been reading his blog (admittedly not more than 6 months or so), I've never seen anything positive said about a Clinton without 16 negatives attached to it....and usually there's no positive there anyhow. He's already decided that Bill's speech tonight will be no better. He seems to feel very strongly against the Clintons and everything they do and stand for.... I expect that from Republicans but it always surprises me from a Democrat-leaner, and I keep going back to see if he really is as consistently negative about her as it seems. I kind of thought that might change after the primary. I just feel like at this point we should stop pointing fingers and start attempting to unify....and it seemed like that's what she was trying to do to me.
But similar to his seeming dislike for Hillary, I have a like for her and Bill, and I give them the benefit of the doubt, even when perhaps I shouldn't. I guess I'm their glass half full and he's their glass half empty :). And I've never been opinionated enough in general...I don't get very passionate about politics and usually stay away from such discussions...probably better for everyone involved.
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