America's Got No Talent

Let me start by saying that the television show 'America's Got Talent' is a great premise for a show. It combines literally ANY kind of talent into one show pitting singers against dancers against baton twirlers against female impersonators against sword swallowers against anything you can think of. It has some of the most bizarre talent I've ever seen, such as 'Spark Woman'....some weirdo woman who shot sparks off her body in various ways, or the guy who lies on nails while his wife and others stand on him.

Acts perform and the judges....I'll get to them in a moment....narrowed it down eventually to 40 acts. Then America takes over and votes them down (mostly, judges get involved too.)

Here's my #1 problem with the show. The director should be fired on the spot immediately....it's the worst case of directing I've ever seen in my life and he absolutely ruins it. I challenge anyone reading this post to do the following. When an act starts, follow the camera work and count just how long any one camera remains on an act before the director switches it to a different camera. The LONGEST amount of time I've seen is 2 seconds.

So an act gets up to perform and a camera is on...say showing the whole stage. Less than 2 seconds into the act, different camera angle focusing on the face of one person in the act, 2 seconds later, shows the act from the side, 2 seconds later you see the face of a judge, 2 seconds later back to original view, 2 seconds later you see them from up high and to the left, 2 seconds later you are looking at the audience. So, in a 2 minute performance, the director has said 'cue camera such and such' approximately 60 times.

Now if I'm trying to judge an act, how am I supposed to do that? There is no continuity at all to what the TV audience sees. Now for a singer, that matters not in the slightest because the sound is not interrupted. But for a dance troop, or in fact any act that actually uses the whole stage and needs to be seen, it's completely unfair. This is why there are, count them, NINE singers in the top 10, and not a single other non-musical act. How can I watch a dance troop and figure out if they are any good at all when I can't see them for more than 2 seconds at a time. It's just ridiculous and the idiot director should be FIRED. The dancers and other acts of that nature were cheated of any chance to advance. Of the nine singers, maybe one of them would've made it to the finals of American Idol (I know, hard to compare....but based on pure talent, it's true.)

#2 problem with the show - the cast is idiotic. First, Jerry Springer is not only just a waste of space, but an ANNOYING waste of space. He does nothing but state the obvious, badly, and every time he talks I get the urge to smack him. David Hasselhoff is a waste of good air. As a judge, he's a complete moron and he loves every act. Sharon Osborne is my favorite person on the show and usually says mostly constructive things, but she occasionally forgets what the show is about and votes for completely stupid acts. Piers is actually the only honest fair judge and I find I usually agree with him, but even he panders to many acts.....like the 4-year old. And he has about zero personality. When I saw the judges put those talent-free zooperstars through to the top 20, it just solidified with me that they have no clue what talent is.

#3 problem with the show - America doesn't know actual talent when it bites them in the....you know what. In general right now I have about as much respect for Americans as the French do....when I see the whole country going gaga over Palin......but that's for another blog post. In judging for THIS show, America again is showing that they are pretty much brain-dead. Proof positive, there is a 4-year old voted through to the final 10.

Before I go any further i have to say that I hope she wins the entire show and they put her in a Los Vegas show as promised. Can you believe that she's even there? First, I sang better than her at 4....yeah she can carry a tune and looks very poised for a child. But talent? I've heard MUCH better kids....and this girl is through completely for one reason....she's cute and American audiences are so stupid that they are snowballed by a 4-year old and the irresponsible people that are allowing her to do this....her parents included or perhaps ultimately blamed.

#4 problem with the show - this ties into some of the other reasons, but I believe the outcome is determined far too much by the people running the show. For instance, during the auditions and in fact all the way through to the top 20, the writers/director/whoever of the show determined that they should show about 1 out of every 5000 acts, and get up close and personal with each of them. Good example of this is that the Kinsey Sicks were in the show this year. The show showed shots of them throughout the audition process, so I could see that they were still around performing, right up until the top 40 were picked. Yet, I never saw them give a single performance. The show simply used them for their obvious interesting looks...men in obvious drag...by sticking them in the background many times so that they would be seen, but never actually showed them perform. I would like to see WAY more actual acts and way less of the tugging on the heartstrings that they seem to think is necessary. For instance, Queen Emily....if they'd put that woman in a large vat, she would've drowned in the amount of tears they showed from her. We saw 30 seconds of her singing and 30 minutes of her blubbering.

Of the top 10, there is no act that comes within a mile of last year's winner, the best ventriloquist I've ever seen...Terry Fator. And of the top 10, there is really only one choice in my mind for an act that could actually carry a Vegas show, Nuttin But Strings. They are exciting to watch and very talented and could carry a show. The rest of the 10, forget it. Eli Mattson is very good, but he's better in intimate settings, quiet times. I can't imagine him in Vegas. Neil Boyd is good I think, although I'm not a good judge of opera, but Vegas? Queen Emily has some talent but she just gags me totally and if I see her cry one more time, I'm gonna lose it. And she's not nearly as talented as the show makes her out to be. Kaitlyn Maher, the 4 year old, is simply a joke. The Elvis and Sinatra impersonators are over-hyped and under-talented, and I can't imagine going to Vegas and seeing 90 minutes of either of them. The rest of the singers are average to annoying.

With that diatribe, you'd think I hate the show. But the truth is, it's my guilty pleasure and I still watch it.....but I'm bitching about it the entire time cause it gets me so angry when I see what the producers are doing to the show. It's the worst execution of a good premise that I've ever seen.