Swoper's Ramblings: One of Bush's more intelligent moments....

Monday, July 14, 2008

One of Bush's more intelligent moments....

President Bush was briefed on Iraq this morning and was told that three Brazilian solders were killed.

To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering.

Finally, he composed himself and asked, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

1 comment:

Abhishek Rao said...: :D :D Prez is intelligent indeed; July 15, 2008 at 12:00 PM

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100 Things about me

1. I was born on Jan 24, 1961 in Grand Rapids MI in a snowstorm
2. I wrote my autobiography in the 4th grade and my Mom still has it
3. I plan to one day update that autobiography, although i may not write as well anymore
4. I had my first indication that I was gay in the 2nd grade...dream about a best friend
5. I met Red Skelton in college
6. I didn't have sex till I was a month shy of my 30th birthday
7. I'm still trying to make up for that
8. I've been in DCDD (concert band) for more than 25 years
9. I went to Ohio Boy's State in HS, and spent the week avoiding getting a job
10. I've lost more than 60 pounds 3 times in my life. (so I only weigh 11 lbs now.)
11. I have 3 wonderful older sisters with weird names, Monya, Genilee and Allyn
12. My mother's name is Flavia
13. My Dad is Bob and I'm Mark....go figure
14. I have headaches usually several times a week...it's normal for me
15. Euphonium was my main instrument through college
16. I also play Trumpet, French Horn, Bari Sax, Hammered Dulcimer, Penny Whistle, Recorders
17. I have a knack for picking up instruments and can usually perform on a new one in about a month's time (in an ensemble...solo takes quite a bit longer)
18. I've played Euphonium, Trumpet, French Horn, Bari Sax, Trombone, Bass Clarinet, various percussion instruments as well as Sang on DCDD concerts.
19. I'm not great on ANY instrument...rather I'm a good musician so the instrument doesn't matter that much
20. I love to watch and read about sports
21. As a small child I refused to eat meat....or most anything else....poor Mom!
22. I never really had a 'coming out'....rather I just gradually started to tell a person here and there
23. I graduated third in my HS class and Cum Laude in college
24. I almost never studied
25. Sometimes I think I've wasted all my natural intelligence
26. I was a music major in college only because I didn't want to go in undecided....and liked playing in band
27. I graduated with a music education degree and no intention of ever teaching
28. Music became my main hobby
29. I love nearly anything fried....and try to avoid all of it
30. I hate making phone calls...don't mind talking on the phone as long as it's not me dialing
31. I love Fantasy Anything, books, movies, figurines, games, etc
32. One of my best friends ever dropped out of my life on purpose and refused to ever communicate with me again....I have no idea why to this day
33. I hope and pray that one day he'll try again...so I can spit in his face for doing that to me
34. It is very difficult to anger me, and you don't want to see the results when you do
35. My best friend is also my lover...as it should be
36. I consider myself extremely boring
37. I stopped biting my nails as an adult, only so I could learn to play the guitar
38. I have 8 toes on my left foot (see, gotta make up stories to keep from being boring)
39. I never met a mushroom that I liked
40. I played Everquest for about 5 years, probably averaging 4-5 hours a day
41. I didn't play enough to make it to the top echelon guilds in the game
42. I absolutely love games and competition of any kind as long as it's in fun
43. I sang like an angel up till I hit puberty
44. I went from 'Slim' jeans to 'Husky' jeans all in one year
45. The only physical feature on me that I ever truly liked was my hair
46. I did a research paper on Black Holes in HS, and am still fascinated by them
47. I'm distantly related to Robert Frost
48. I hate poetry (mostly because of a college english class where I was told that I always interpret it wrong...it was too much work)
49. I am an extremely loyal friend
50. I am absolutely terrible at keeping in touch, but extremely easy to reconnect with
51. I work in IT, and now for the US Postal Service
52. I still have most of my Hotwheels and Matchbox cars, and even have them displayed at home
53. I probably played most with my sisters Barbie dolls as a kid (ok...until I was 40)
54. My childhood best friend turned out to be gay I found out 20 years later
55. I have a very negative self-image in many ways
56. I still miss Gilda Radner and her skits like 'lets talk dirty to the animals'
57. The first guy I remember lusting after was on a Dr Pepper Commercial in the 70s....and he was HOT
58. I thought I was an alcoholic at one point in my life...I'm not
59. I love porn pictures and dvds...and already gave most of my old VHS porn collection to my lusty friend Rob
60. My Dad was the local smalltown newspaperman
61. I used to steal the pictures my dad took of the HS wrestling matches....to uh....well you can guess
62. I eat a lowfat Klondike bar every night...only 3 points!
63. I had a headache for a month once
64. I've never broken a bone or had surgery or been to the hospital other than visits
65. I take scalding hot showers
66. I have a blog for pictures of men called Spike's Boys
67. I think that Ronald Reagan set this country back about 60 years, luckily GW Bush was too stupid to make it TOO much worse
68. I'm a terrible housekeeper, but you'll never find a dirty dish in my sink
69. is my favorite......number
70. I performed in high school musicals in 2nd and 3rd grades
71. I have fabulous parents and a great immediate family life
72. I started my porn collection by 'collecting' my sisters Playgirl mags
73. I killed a bird with a flyswatter when I was 4 and my mother thought she was raising a monster
74. I love roller coasters and grew up near Cedar Point....THE premier roller coaster park in the world
75. As much as music is a part of my life, I don't normally listen to it when home alone
76. I barely know how to use my cellphone
77. I may be the only person I've ever know who HATES Apple computers...have had rotten luck and mine crashes constantly
78. I love Sean Cody videos and only recently discovered them
79. My sister first got me stoned when was about 12...still love it to this day
80. I've always loved to read...I can remember watching my older sisters read when I was too young, and being jealous that they knew what those letters and words meant
81. I'm a homebody and probably an Introvert
82. I lust after every other guy I see...and so does George and we talk about it together and point them out to each other
83. You can tell me anything without being judged
84. I found a Gold Doubloon dated 1792 when I was about 10....turned out to be a fake....I was crushed
85. Tivo changed my life....haven't watched a commercial in years and have no idea when anything is actually broadcast anymore
86. I usually buy high-end gaming computers from Alienware
87. My on-line in-game persona is Kolina, a female wood-elf druid in Everquest, and a Tauren Druid in World of Warcraft
88. I lived with my sister Genilee for 7 years, and we were like a happy married couple with no sex
89. I haven't had a cavity as an adult....had TONS as a child
90. I refused to watch ANY reality show for years, until I realized that Queer Eye for the Straight Guy WAS a reality show....
91. Now I like reality shows, even American Idol and Surviver
92. I love stand-up comedy
93. I starred as Frank Butler in Annie Get your Gun in high school
94. I was President of my French Club in HS, but never took French Class
95. I'm a bigtime animal lover
95. I'm a great listener
95. I apparently never quite learned how to count to 100
96. I fell in love with my college Roommate...completely unrequited
97. The first time I learned about poppers was when someone accidently poured them UP my nose...for some reason, never been into it since
98. I'm a whiz at math and can multiply 3-digit numbers in my head
99. I was quoted in USA today once
100. I fully intend never to grow up