Big Sis

I have three older sisters, nine, seven and four years older than I was. Each time my mom was pregnant, she and my dad were convinced it was a boy and picked out boy names, etc. Each time, they got a girl. When I came along, they'd sort of given up on boys and decided I was a girl (My name was to be Melanie.)

In any case, I ended up in a family dominated by women....my mother was always more strong-willed than my father, and all my sisters were older than me....so women ran the house, pretty much. This may be one reason my dad and I are still pretty laid back and not very assertive.

My oldest sister was born on March 3rd, 1952 and was named Monya Ellen. It's pronounced like Tanya with an M. (I think my Mom knew someone named Monya in high school and just liked the name.) She was a great baby, rarely crying, beautiful in looks, inquisitive, etc. My mom said the only time she cried much was when she went in the car.....ironically, my middle sister Genilee was constantly crying her first two years....except when she went in the car, where she would stop (and Monya would take over.)

I wasn't there for her first 9 years, but she was also a very smart kid, and grew up to be the beauty in the family. By the time I got there, she was definitely running the non-parental part of the family. Monya was very strong-willed, and quite clever, so she was the one that got the kids to 'do things'....some fun and productive, but also the one who caused the kids to get in trouble when they followed her lead in the wrong direction. I can remember her leading us to do an elaborate Christmas play every year for our parents....can remember her being the one who got us to play 'horses' every night after dinner, where we retired to the living room and two of us (and sometimes my dad) were horses, and the little ones rode them around. I can remember her making all four of us run away at least once or twice together. (we usually went to the garage and hid...lol.)

My biggest memory of Monya from my childhood was the respect she commanded from all of us. She was smart, beautiful and just seemed to always have it completely together. Because she was the oldest, she probably also had it the toughest from my parents. She had to fight to extend curfews, come home from dates to my Mother waiting in the living room, and live with all of the things that over-protective parents often do....then relax some with the younger kids.

Another very important memory was that she told me that I had to do only one thing for her in my lifetime....and that was to grow taller than her because she was the tallest on in my family by several inches (still only 5'7" and 3/4). I made the promise, and eventually followed through at a HUGE 5'8". It was 1/4 of an inch, but enough to satisfy us both :).

I was incredibly proud of my oldest sister....she was in high school plays and musicals, was in a singing group, was 1st or 2nd runner up in at least 3-4 beauty pageants like homecoming queen. She should've won too. She was the head majorette, which meant she lead the marching band around town....played French Horn in band. To me, she was amazing.

She also offered me a lot of first experiences. She was the first person I knew who left home and went off to college, first one I knew to fall in love, get married, have children, etc.

I remember the day she came home from college (Soph year I think) talking about her three current boyfriends (she'd always had a lot of them.) One of them was a guy that she talked about in reverant terms almost, how gorgeous he was, how exciting, how he had a MOTORCYCLE, etc, lol. His name was Jim Sauernheimer, and I think I was seeing a first glimpse at new love. She married him less than a year later and they are still together after 35 years.

The marriage was planned and executed in under 3 weeks because they became pregnant early. It was a HUGE scandal to my mother and it was awhile before they got past it, but they somehow pulled off a lovely wedding in 3 weeks. I was 4 days shy of 12 and it was my first wedding and my first champagne (hated it).

So 7 months later, I also had my first niece, Sondra....and my first experiences holding a baby, changing her, babysitting, all that. Two years later, they had Tara....both girls are lovely (and now Tara is about to hit 30 and has a great son of her own, CJ.)

For about 5 years, Monya and Jim lived about 30-50 miles from us, so we saw them a lot. I babysat a lot and spent lots of time with them in general. Then they moved away to Texas, where the girls grew up and they stayed until about 5 years ago when they moved to Chicago. By the way, I've always loved Jim too...he and she were the perfect match. He was able to rein in her strong will when needed, but they appear to always compromise and truly enjoy being together after all these years too.

Now Monya and I know and love each other as adults. We see each other on average probably only about once a year, but she and I relate well to each other and never have awkwardness from time apart. She's still beautiful at 55 and I still consider her the 'class' of the family. She raised two great kids (with Jim of course), travels quite a bit, and still comes off as completely 'together' and is someone I admire a lot. I found out over the years that she, like many folks, doesn't have much confidence in herself. That was a shocking revelation. She doesnt' see herself as I always have.

I feel like this blog entry isn't doing her justice at all...sorry Monya! (she'll never read it.)