Alone Time

It's funny how I really need my alone time and feel sort of resentful when I get none.....yet when I get more than a few hours, like this weekend, I get quickly bored and lonely.

I was essentially alone for my first 30 years. Although I did live with my sister during most of those adult years, we both valued our alone time, and went out separately all the time. When I moved in with Jim and George....there was suddenly no alone time to speak of, which was a problem for me.

My years with George....well, George doesn't do much on his own. I mean he has no night-time activities like I do (music) and no friends that he goes out with, so on the nights I'm away (1-4 nights a week), he gets his alone time. I, however, don't get much, unless George is going home to visit his parents and I'm not going for some reason. I so value my time alone that even though I like his parents alot and we all get along and they want me to come, I sometimes will decline, just to have some time to myself.

This weekend was one such weekend. George was going to NY to visit them and I begged off as it had been months since I'd had any alone time and we just visited them in March. I was looking forward to it, thinking of all the things I can do....ahem, both fun, and things like World of Warcraft, which I enjoy but never get anywhere because I don't have the time to put into it. I was gonna play all weekend long. So George leaves Sat morning and by about 3 o'clock, I was bored and ready for him to be home.

I'm just so much less without him....I don't like me much. I eat too much, and absolutely ALL the wrong things. I do essentially nothing useful, waste time, play and don't even have much fun. Watching TV is no fun, lonely without him.

I watched the first Riddick movie last night...guilty pleasure I had hoped. But I didn't think much of it....Vin Diesel is incredibly hot, but the movie isn't. It was sort of a bad Alien-type movie. So I was basically bored during that too....I bought the trilogy awhile back (as a set) thinking I'd like them, and if I did could also talk George into watching them. But no.

Today I've played a bit, cleaned up a bit, did a few useful things like bills. I'm trying to alternate playing for awhile with something useful so I don't feel so entirely USELESS over the while weekend...lol.

So I need my alone time....but I only need a few hours of it here and there. I've had to face the possibility of losing George for the first time recently....and I absolutely can't imagine it. it's made me realize how completely I really do love him. He is my life, my better half. The most amazing thing is, he actually feels the same....I'm his life and his better half. The truth is, we are only complete when we are together.

George with his parents in NY....this is the old house they FINALLY sold this past year to get an apartment near his sister Debbie.