Friday, June 27, 2008

Bruiser....my true love

Ok, I admit it....much as I tried not to, I had a favorite dog. I blogged once about how I ultimately ended up with three Jack Russel Terriers when I simply wanted 'a dog'. My three boys were Bruiser, Spike and Skippy.



Skippy, Bruiser and Spike.....Bruiser was usually in the middle of everything.

When we first got the dogs, we got three because there were three of us and in Jim's mind, we each needed our own dog. Ultimately to the animal, ownership means nothing, and I knew that at the time, but because Jim had conceded and let me have a dog, I was not about to argue that point with him. So when he decided we needed to pair up each dog with one of us, I went along with it (in theory.)

I think I showed a bit of favoritism when I first saw the puppies because Bruiser had the most color on him and I thought he was very handsome. So Jim assumed I wanted Bruiser but when he said we each had to choose one, I, trying NOT to play favorites right away, said it didnt' matter to me, so he took Bruiser. Try as he might, Jim never quite convinced Bruiser that I was not 'daddy', and from the get-go, Bruiser followed me around like a.....well like a puppy. I ended up with Spike as my dog and Skippy as George's dog. (And like I said, to all of them, they belonged to me....they adore(d) George but it was me that they respected and looked to for everything.)

Bruiser was scared of me because I was the disciplinarian and he was incredibly sensitive.....but Bruiser was my constant companion. He was the biggest of the three and pushier to both the food and attention. It's hard not to play favorites when one is always there at your side.....and Bruiser was always there. I sat down and he was immediately in my lap. In the mornings at the kitchen table Bruiser hopped up in my arms and flopped over upside down on his back while I held him....ears flapping towards the ground. That dog would sometimes fall asleep in that position as I read the paper and absent-mindedly petted him.

Directly at my side as usual.....


His usual spot....and stop looking at my fat thigh!!!!


Bruiser was quirky. At one point when he was about 2 years old, he suddenly decided that he was no longer going to sleep in bed at night with us. He would stay in bed till just before the lights went out, then would jump off and sleep on a nearbye chair. No amount of coaxing would keep him in that bed and he'd shake like he was terrified if we tried. If I was home during the day, he'd sleep on the bed with me anytime....but at night, forget it. (I think I finally realized a few years later I must've inadvertantly rolled over and hit him in the middle of the night and scared him silly.)

When George and I moved out on our own, Bruiser still wouldn't sleep in bed at night. But he developed in the last few years one of the most endearing things I've ever heard an animal do. He went to bed with us at night when the lights went off and would stay for awhile. He would snuggle up next to me with his rear in my armpit and my arm resting on him. I would fall asleep with him there and as SOON as I was asleep, he'd be off the bed. I fall asleep extremely quickly and George told me he was usually still awake when Bruiser left, but I would never see it. I think he waited until my breathing changed to sleep breathing, then would leave.


All I knew was that every night he snuggled up with me as I went to sleep and brought me a sense of peace, calm and love each night.


Bruiser was not a brainy boy....Spike got all the brains in the family. Instead, Bruiser got the heart.....he had a huge heart and I loved him deeply....I still do. I'm writing about him today partially because on my walk with Skippy this morning, my thoughts, as they often do, drifted to Bruiser and I started to cry because I missed him so much. When I think about him now, the thoughts are all about how wonderful he was, but they also go directly to how much I still miss him.

When he died (3 1/2 years ago now) he left an empty spot in my heart and at my side, literally. I very quickly realized that as we watched TV at night sitting on the bed, Bruiser had always been at my side, with Skippy closer to my knees and Spike towards my feet. When Bruiser died, the other two refused to take his spot....and stayed exactly where they were when he was alive. I'd pull Spike up next to me, and he would be totally uncomfortable there (despite being very sweet himself) and would move back to my feet and leave my side empty. Skippy did the same. Three years later and Skippy still refuses to sit at my side. It's as if they both simply knew that Bruiser belonged there and always would. As much as I loved Spike and still love Skippy....they were right.

Bruiser was my favorite and I don't think I'll ever stop missing him. He captured my heart by giving me his. (and I'm bawling like a baby yet again right now.)


3 comments:

Scott said...

You feel for Bruiser as I do for Ranger... and the time is quickly coming when we must say our final goodbyes.

Dog's lives are too brief.

Matty said...

We will outlive our dogs (except maybe the last one we own). It still doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye to a dear friend. Heidi has been that for me - watching her grow older and loose her sight from diabetes has been difficult. She's doing well, but she's changed, and I struggle with it daily on some level. My heart goes out to you, dear friends, Scott and Mark. Our "kids" are such wonderful beings, and I think it's okay to say that we had the best time with one of them in particular. They have such distinct personalities and I am convinced they fall for us as we do for them.

Swoper said...

Thanks guys. I had a feeling this one would hit home a bit with both of you since we are all struggling with aging pets that we adore.

I'll blog soon about my wonderful cats too....they are very special, even though they keep Scott at home (allergies....sorry Scott.)