DCDD is a group I've been in for about 25 years now. I can't remember the exact date I started with the group, but it was my first attempt to learn how to be a gay man after college.
In college I had a group of friends who were mostly pretty accepting, but I had no gay friends that I knew about. so when I graduated and moved to DC, naturally one of the things I wanted most in my new life was to meet gay people and figure out what it meant to be gay. I had even had sex yet, except for the beginning of a drunken encounter with a professor that turned to a temporary disaster with me running out of his place....another time, another story.
My wonderful sister Genilee lived here in DC and I'd spent a summer between Sophmore and Junior years of college getting to know her (she's 7 years older than me.) She also wanted to help me meet more gay people and become comfortable with it....to the point where she and I went to Dupont Circle, found someone who looked obviously gay and followed them till they went into a bar, so we could find a gay bar. She went right in with me.....to Mr P's. In any case, she also encouraged me to join the band, so I did....I believe still in 1983.
I was fresh out of college as a euphonium major....so my playing was currently at it's highest level, probably ever. I joined a group of what I can only loosely describe at the time as musicians....the band sucked, frankly. And it sucked for years afterward as a musical organization...playing third grade music, badly and out of tune. We had conductors who didn't seem to really care to improve the group musically, treating the whole thing like a social organization. Because I was uncomfortable being around gay people, I would arrive at rehearsal just before it started, and RUN out the door as soon as it ended. I didn't stick around because I felt like I was intruding on a close-knit group. People who were in it in 1983 through probably 1990 wouldn't even remember me. I was like a ghost or a fly on the wall, and honestly felt like I never belonged. Gradually, I came out of my shell....but I didn't mean to go on about me.
So musically, the group stank and I was playing at such a high level that I was musically almost totally bored. And I was completely embarrassed to be heard so I never even thought about inviting anyone to a concert. I got no musical satisfaction out of playing stuff way below me....so after several years I decided to switch to an instrument that would at least challenge me a little. Gradually the level of the band both organizationally and musically crept up somewhat, once Glenn Cadoret became president. that was probably in the early 1990s. We had a series of good presidents, then good boards, and a few conductors that started to challenge us a little bit. We had no audience and a tiny band, but at least we produced some reasonable semblance to music. I was still pretty embarrassed by the group, and switched again at some point to French Horn....essentially just offering to play my instruments based on what the band was short on.
In 1998, we got a new Artistic Director....Scott Barker.
In college I had a group of friends who were mostly pretty accepting, but I had no gay friends that I knew about. so when I graduated and moved to DC, naturally one of the things I wanted most in my new life was to meet gay people and figure out what it meant to be gay. I had even had sex yet, except for the beginning of a drunken encounter with a professor that turned to a temporary disaster with me running out of his place....another time, another story.
My wonderful sister Genilee lived here in DC and I'd spent a summer between Sophmore and Junior years of college getting to know her (she's 7 years older than me.) She also wanted to help me meet more gay people and become comfortable with it....to the point where she and I went to Dupont Circle, found someone who looked obviously gay and followed them till they went into a bar, so we could find a gay bar. She went right in with me.....to Mr P's. In any case, she also encouraged me to join the band, so I did....I believe still in 1983.
I was fresh out of college as a euphonium major....so my playing was currently at it's highest level, probably ever. I joined a group of what I can only loosely describe at the time as musicians....the band sucked, frankly. And it sucked for years afterward as a musical organization...playing third grade music, badly and out of tune. We had conductors who didn't seem to really care to improve the group musically, treating the whole thing like a social organization. Because I was uncomfortable being around gay people, I would arrive at rehearsal just before it started, and RUN out the door as soon as it ended. I didn't stick around because I felt like I was intruding on a close-knit group. People who were in it in 1983 through probably 1990 wouldn't even remember me. I was like a ghost or a fly on the wall, and honestly felt like I never belonged. Gradually, I came out of my shell....but I didn't mean to go on about me.
So musically, the group stank and I was playing at such a high level that I was musically almost totally bored. And I was completely embarrassed to be heard so I never even thought about inviting anyone to a concert. I got no musical satisfaction out of playing stuff way below me....so after several years I decided to switch to an instrument that would at least challenge me a little. Gradually the level of the band both organizationally and musically crept up somewhat, once Glenn Cadoret became president. that was probably in the early 1990s. We had a series of good presidents, then good boards, and a few conductors that started to challenge us a little bit. We had no audience and a tiny band, but at least we produced some reasonable semblance to music. I was still pretty embarrassed by the group, and switched again at some point to French Horn....essentially just offering to play my instruments based on what the band was short on.
In 1998, we got a new Artistic Director....Scott Barker.
Right from the start could tell this guy was different in several ways from anyone else ever in that position. He saw possibilities that no one ever seemed to see before. He saw that although small, we had a core of good musicians. He saw that we were not stretching ourselves musically. He saw that we had no steady audience, and that our concerts were sort of like attending a wake. Go sit in a pew and don't interact and come out depressed. Honestly, there was absolutely no connection between the band and it's audience. We didnt' speak, didn't DO anything with the songs, didn't attempt to educate, or anything similar. We simply played like we did every week in rehearsal, only it happened to be in front of a disinterested, slightly embarrassed audience.
At times I thought Scott was crazy for trying some of the things he tried over the years, but I was wrong virtually every single time. Scott immediately had a profound impact on DCDD, and thankfully for us, he gave us 10 extremely high quality years of his energy and his vision. He connected like no one ever had before him. He dragged the group forward, sometimes kicking an screaming at him, to places none of us even dreamed of when he started.
I had honestly given up on ever getting much musical satisfaction out of DCDD. It had finally become a social group for me once I relaxed, one that happened to get together and throw instruments up in front of their faces for a couple of hours a week. I was still not asking anyone to concerts, was not proud of the group's performances. I guess I got some satisfaction out of my own musical growth as I became a decent trumpet player and French hornist.....and because we had so few others, I got lots and lots of solos and exposed parts. But the group was still rather embarrassing. I remember one year taking a take of our Christmas Concert with me to my parents in Texas. My sister Allyn also had joined a community band recently and brought a tape of her Christmas conert as well. When we played my tape, my sister started to laugh because it was SOOOOO bad. The tuning was just horrid.
I fully credit Scott Barker for completely changing DCDD. Sure he didn't do it alone, but he was the reason it happened. DCDD is, right now, not only not embarrassing, but a group that I am extremely proud to be in. Because Scott started to challenge us, and started to make our concerts into shows rather than wakes, starte to educate us and our audiences, started us playing music that truly challenged us, new musicians started to join and the level of quality started to rise. 10 years later, this is a group that can hold it's head high. We've played at the Kennedy Center, taken trips, and played before big audiences, gotten good reviews in the paper, etc. We've developed good relationships with other gay and lesbian groups like the men's chorus, that simply were not possible until we raised our game. We are a group that the gay and lesbian community is now proud of.....truly we used to be an embarrassment.
I have enormous respect for Scott. I'm very sad to see him go and I'm a little bit scared for the group. I want this to keep moving forward, but I know that it could fall apart again and more easily than people realize. I have faith that the organization is now pretty well run, and our new conductor has great possibilities. But we no longer have that linchpin that got us started.
I heard some rumblings that people had problems with Scott. He could be stubborn with his vision. People have their own opinions and people who were not here before truly don't understand what Scott brought to the table.
I didn't always agree with Scott or his vision....but not having my own clearcut vision and not really being much of a doer myself, I never grumbled about or to him (much) and tried to simply go along for the ride. I often got pretty disgusted with people, especially those idiots who thought we'd be better off without Scott. You people simply don't know what it was like before, and you don't realize that all it will take is a bad conductor who rubs people the wrong way and this group will lose all those good musicans quickly.
In any case I just want to say from the bottom of my heart, thank you Scott. I wish the best for you and Dave and Eli. I'll miss you, both as conductor of the group and as a person. I respect you enormously and always will. I said in the program that I truly understood what you brought to DCDD, and I do.
At times I thought Scott was crazy for trying some of the things he tried over the years, but I was wrong virtually every single time. Scott immediately had a profound impact on DCDD, and thankfully for us, he gave us 10 extremely high quality years of his energy and his vision. He connected like no one ever had before him. He dragged the group forward, sometimes kicking an screaming at him, to places none of us even dreamed of when he started.
I had honestly given up on ever getting much musical satisfaction out of DCDD. It had finally become a social group for me once I relaxed, one that happened to get together and throw instruments up in front of their faces for a couple of hours a week. I was still not asking anyone to concerts, was not proud of the group's performances. I guess I got some satisfaction out of my own musical growth as I became a decent trumpet player and French hornist.....and because we had so few others, I got lots and lots of solos and exposed parts. But the group was still rather embarrassing. I remember one year taking a take of our Christmas Concert with me to my parents in Texas. My sister Allyn also had joined a community band recently and brought a tape of her Christmas conert as well. When we played my tape, my sister started to laugh because it was SOOOOO bad. The tuning was just horrid.
I fully credit Scott Barker for completely changing DCDD. Sure he didn't do it alone, but he was the reason it happened. DCDD is, right now, not only not embarrassing, but a group that I am extremely proud to be in. Because Scott started to challenge us, and started to make our concerts into shows rather than wakes, starte to educate us and our audiences, started us playing music that truly challenged us, new musicians started to join and the level of quality started to rise. 10 years later, this is a group that can hold it's head high. We've played at the Kennedy Center, taken trips, and played before big audiences, gotten good reviews in the paper, etc. We've developed good relationships with other gay and lesbian groups like the men's chorus, that simply were not possible until we raised our game. We are a group that the gay and lesbian community is now proud of.....truly we used to be an embarrassment.
I have enormous respect for Scott. I'm very sad to see him go and I'm a little bit scared for the group. I want this to keep moving forward, but I know that it could fall apart again and more easily than people realize. I have faith that the organization is now pretty well run, and our new conductor has great possibilities. But we no longer have that linchpin that got us started.
I heard some rumblings that people had problems with Scott. He could be stubborn with his vision. People have their own opinions and people who were not here before truly don't understand what Scott brought to the table.
I didn't always agree with Scott or his vision....but not having my own clearcut vision and not really being much of a doer myself, I never grumbled about or to him (much) and tried to simply go along for the ride. I often got pretty disgusted with people, especially those idiots who thought we'd be better off without Scott. You people simply don't know what it was like before, and you don't realize that all it will take is a bad conductor who rubs people the wrong way and this group will lose all those good musicans quickly.
In any case I just want to say from the bottom of my heart, thank you Scott. I wish the best for you and Dave and Eli. I'll miss you, both as conductor of the group and as a person. I respect you enormously and always will. I said in the program that I truly understood what you brought to DCDD, and I do.
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