New Powder room...last year
Monday, October 11, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Black Day
Another one of these days I've been having a lot of in the last year...in fact this is actually the 2nd day of it. I just feel so totally like I don't want to deal with the world today, or yesterday. I don't want to speak to anyone, see anyone or have any human contact at all. Actually, if it's like yesterday, basically ANY contact. Even the animals were being pushed away yesterday at times...don't feel like dealing with them either.
Yesterday I woke up after more sleep than I'd had in at least a week, but feeling like I needed to immediately take a nap....I was dragging like crazy and felt extremely tired. It was 2 hours before I started to feel awake, and less than another hour after that when I started feeling really depressed and unhappy. I tried to do a few useful things, grocery shopping, doing bills....intended on doing some cleaning. But when I"m in this mood, I also don't feel like doing anything and nothing seems to satisfy. I played my normal games, but wasn't into any of it. I saw and watched two lousy football games and both of my teams looked like crap (I'm over football for the year and it's only the 2nd week.) Thought about reading, thought about working on the basement clutter, thought about going for a bike ride or going to the gym. But I felt no desire for any of it and felt very much stuck. The longer the day went, the worse I felt mentally. George tried to make a comment here or there, but I was non-communicative to say the least, and probably verging on rude. I forced myself to perk up enough to watch some TV, went to bed fairly late, and woke up feeling the same today.
I don't know what is wrong with me, but I hate me when I'm like this. I have nothing positive to say about anything and my face feels like it's glued in a frown. I don't want to go to band when I'm like this, but I don't have much choice either. I'm just glad the rehearsal will be short since I'm not doing Wind Ensemble or Marching Band.
I'm concerned that too much of my life is spent like this recently. We went through a really bad patch of time since George's Dad died, but I felt like since he started getting some help, that my problems also were getting better. But here I am feeling like this again. I was like this the last two Monday's too...no doubt started off those times because of weekend weight gain, but why that should set me off this extremely I don't know.
I should probably go see someone....except I wouldn't even know what to say or what to talk about. There's nothing particularly wrong today...just the way I feel right now.
Yesterday I woke up after more sleep than I'd had in at least a week, but feeling like I needed to immediately take a nap....I was dragging like crazy and felt extremely tired. It was 2 hours before I started to feel awake, and less than another hour after that when I started feeling really depressed and unhappy. I tried to do a few useful things, grocery shopping, doing bills....intended on doing some cleaning. But when I"m in this mood, I also don't feel like doing anything and nothing seems to satisfy. I played my normal games, but wasn't into any of it. I saw and watched two lousy football games and both of my teams looked like crap (I'm over football for the year and it's only the 2nd week.) Thought about reading, thought about working on the basement clutter, thought about going for a bike ride or going to the gym. But I felt no desire for any of it and felt very much stuck. The longer the day went, the worse I felt mentally. George tried to make a comment here or there, but I was non-communicative to say the least, and probably verging on rude. I forced myself to perk up enough to watch some TV, went to bed fairly late, and woke up feeling the same today.
I don't know what is wrong with me, but I hate me when I'm like this. I have nothing positive to say about anything and my face feels like it's glued in a frown. I don't want to go to band when I'm like this, but I don't have much choice either. I'm just glad the rehearsal will be short since I'm not doing Wind Ensemble or Marching Band.
I'm concerned that too much of my life is spent like this recently. We went through a really bad patch of time since George's Dad died, but I felt like since he started getting some help, that my problems also were getting better. But here I am feeling like this again. I was like this the last two Monday's too...no doubt started off those times because of weekend weight gain, but why that should set me off this extremely I don't know.
I should probably go see someone....except I wouldn't even know what to say or what to talk about. There's nothing particularly wrong today...just the way I feel right now.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Kitchen Remodelling
As promised, before and after shots of our kitchen:
Looking into dining room
View looking at far wall
Looking from far wall through to dining room
Corner where sink eventually ends up and pennisula
Deconstruction
Poor confused pooper in the mess in the living room
Oh how I'll miss the holes in our ceiling that were there for more than a year!
Fridge is in same place but area is reconfigured to be useful...looking towards dining room on the right there
Construction
Far wall cupboards, but originally they had the wrong facings....these are more traditional and what we got rid of
Pennisula/bar being built
The mess we lived with for months with no kitchen
Far wall again, this time with the right cupboard faces...looks out at deck
same
Looking towards dining room, can see pennisula, granite and part of the bar
looking over bar towards dining room
The backsplash
Corner sink, pennisula and deck beyond
Corner sink looking towards floor
Bar/deck
Looking into dining room
View looking at far wall
Looking from far wall through to dining room
Corner where sink eventually ends up and pennisula
Deconstruction
Poor confused pooper in the mess in the living room
Oh how I'll miss the holes in our ceiling that were there for more than a year!
Fridge is in same place but area is reconfigured to be useful...looking towards dining room on the right there
Construction
Far wall cupboards, but originally they had the wrong facings....these are more traditional and what we got rid of
Pennisula/bar being built
The mess we lived with for months with no kitchen
Far wall again, this time with the right cupboard faces...looks out at deck
same
Looking towards dining room, can see pennisula, granite and part of the bar
looking over bar towards dining room
The backsplash
Corner sink, pennisula and deck beyond
Corner sink looking towards floor
Bar/deck
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Just to clear up a few details
I guess after I poured out my guts last time, I lost interest in blogging for awhile....trying to get back to it now. My good friend Chad must've gotten around to reading my blog again recently because he mentioned the last one to me and I had to scramble to remember what I wrote. After re-reading it just now, I realized that I was overly harsh with a few things in my last posting.
For one thing, George is back bowling with me already and showing every sign of wanting to continue. And he never read the blog to find out how hurt I felt at the time, so it's totally genuine and not a reaction to what I wrote. I was being unfair. Thanks hon (when you get around to reading it.)
I'm over the whole tuba thing and am very happy playing Trombone in band right now. I was a bit nervous about it because it's a whole different way of playing than Swing music, and in some ways a lot more difficult, plus the band does some really heavy, hard music these days. But I'm handling it fine and really enjoying it. I'm even inspired to practice (like I should be) which is a good thing. I"m perfectly happy never playing tuba again...although I also know now that I could go back to it and be fine there too.
One thing I said was pretty true...I'm kind of screwed up right now. I'm suffering from bouts of depression and can't even explain why I feel bad. On my birthday I woke up (George was already up) and was so depressed I could barely make myself get out of bed. Poor George didnt' know what to do for me and I didn't know either. I'm horrible to be with when I'm depressed becasue I don't want sympathy or to for anyone to attempt to cheer me up...giving the other person not many options. I could barely talk....this was not because it was my birthday or I was getting older or anything. I really don't know what it was. But the encouraging thing was that I took charge and FORCED myself to get over it by pampering myself and forcing us to go out to lunch (which I really didn't want to do), planning for a movie at the theatre (which I eventually bagged) then inviting us over to Steve an Mike's later that night for pinball and movies. We had a really good time and by the time I went to bed, it had been a very good day. Thank you George, for putting up with it, and thank you all three for helping me turn the day around and stop wallowing in depression.
I have had a good week this week though...been feeling pretty up. So I'm hopeful this was temporary. I was really charged at band this week playing trombone on all these difficult pieces, and it continued with Sax Quartet and Swing band. tonight, I plan to get my first 200+ bowling (been planning it for 3 months, each week...but we wont' mention that.)
I PROMISE to get kitchen pictures in here very soon, so that there is something vaguely interesting to read/see finally :).
For one thing, George is back bowling with me already and showing every sign of wanting to continue. And he never read the blog to find out how hurt I felt at the time, so it's totally genuine and not a reaction to what I wrote. I was being unfair. Thanks hon (when you get around to reading it.)
I'm over the whole tuba thing and am very happy playing Trombone in band right now. I was a bit nervous about it because it's a whole different way of playing than Swing music, and in some ways a lot more difficult, plus the band does some really heavy, hard music these days. But I'm handling it fine and really enjoying it. I'm even inspired to practice (like I should be) which is a good thing. I"m perfectly happy never playing tuba again...although I also know now that I could go back to it and be fine there too.
One thing I said was pretty true...I'm kind of screwed up right now. I'm suffering from bouts of depression and can't even explain why I feel bad. On my birthday I woke up (George was already up) and was so depressed I could barely make myself get out of bed. Poor George didnt' know what to do for me and I didn't know either. I'm horrible to be with when I'm depressed becasue I don't want sympathy or to for anyone to attempt to cheer me up...giving the other person not many options. I could barely talk....this was not because it was my birthday or I was getting older or anything. I really don't know what it was. But the encouraging thing was that I took charge and FORCED myself to get over it by pampering myself and forcing us to go out to lunch (which I really didn't want to do), planning for a movie at the theatre (which I eventually bagged) then inviting us over to Steve an Mike's later that night for pinball and movies. We had a really good time and by the time I went to bed, it had been a very good day. Thank you George, for putting up with it, and thank you all three for helping me turn the day around and stop wallowing in depression.
I have had a good week this week though...been feeling pretty up. So I'm hopeful this was temporary. I was really charged at band this week playing trombone on all these difficult pieces, and it continued with Sax Quartet and Swing band. tonight, I plan to get my first 200+ bowling (been planning it for 3 months, each week...but we wont' mention that.)
I PROMISE to get kitchen pictures in here very soon, so that there is something vaguely interesting to read/see finally :).
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